Sermon Preached at the Marriage of Victoria Wakefield and Simon Thorp
at Holy Trinity Church, Guildford
Saturday 18 December 2004
Today two lawyers have completed a legal transaction; and just to point up the actual words they used, they faced one another and spoke to one another. These words (give or take a change here and there) have been used in this country, and on this site, for eight hundred years. 'To have and to hold' (a good legal term) - yes. But how? 'From this day forward' - followed by those rhyming contrasts: 'for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.' They're bold claims. But it's sometimes said that a good marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day - because it is the union of two forgivers
That's why those vows do not exist in some sort of a vacuum. They have been spoken as a result of careful thought; they are clothed with colour, music, ritual. But above all they are clothed with prayer. The explicit 'God-bit', however, is not to be relegated to the fine print - the part of the contract which the cunning lawyer may secretly hope that the client overlooks, if not underestimates in terms of potential future significance. God, who is mercy and truth, righteousness and peace (Psalm 85: 10), enters the human race, with all our endless capacities to speak to - and at - each other, whatever the context, whatever the tone of voice.
The gentle but firm claim, therefore, of this afternoon is that in isolation, our words, at least about marriage, but assuredly about anything else important in life, don't quite hit the target unless that other Dimension is allowed, somehow, into the scene. For it has also been said that marriage is a triangle - a man, a woman, and God. But God does not come crashing, to media attention, taking us by storm. Instead, God creeps up on us, and enters our condition by the back-door, as if we haven't quite noticed Him - as the Bethlehem scene tells us each year. Mercy and truth, righteouness and peace - noble aspirations indeed! And not easy ones; we fail at them, and some marriages fail, and God can come along and help us with the pieces. But the summary and summit is Love - abiding, however fragile - as today's readings (Song of Songs 8:6-7, I Corinthians 13) tell us powerfully.
Victoria and Simon have had the good sense to get married just before Christmas - which has doubtless thrown every personal organizer in the area into high-tech coronaries. They have gone one step further and chosen exactly the same day that Sarah and I did 34 years ago. It's worth it: the vows exchanged keep echoing back from time to time; and the God-bit isn't permanently in the foreground (that would be too unbearable), but it's quietly around, steeling up on all of us and ready to take us by surprise. God bless you both! Amen.
