Matthew 23:1 - 39 ‘Not my kind of people’ RL - He’s fended off three sly attacks from different groups of religious bigwigs; he’s told two stories about farms and feasts, aimed directly at them. Now Jesus goes direct – just in case the team or the public are in any doubt where he stands on the religious powers that be . . .
2 - 4
‘They sit where Moses sat – so make sure you listen and you do what they say. But don’t do what they do! ’Cos they’re two-faced: one face spouts great ideas; the other looks for loopholes, sniffs out the vulnerable and barks at them like a rabid dog. They weigh people down with “shoulds” and “musts” and “have to’s”, but don’t risk breaking a precious nail to help them get people standing strong again.’
RL - He lays into them for ‘performing’, doing their religion for the applause of the crowd and celebrity ratings. He warns them that those who set themselves up will be brought crashing down, and vice versa. He’s on a roll now; he launches into a series of slappings . . .
13
‘You’re looking down the barrel of bad news, you religious leaders and law enforcers. Two-faced actors the lot of you: God opens the door marked “heaven on earth”; you slam it shut in people’s faces. OK, maybe you’re not interested, but how dare you stop others!’ . . .
15
‘You’re riding for a fall, you top brass, you HQ hypocrites! You travel the world on your company card, bring back your trophy converts, then indoctrinate them into doubling your tally of evil.’ . . .
23 - 24
‘You’re washed up you religious fraudsters, you phoneys, you kidology experts! You give God his 10 per cent to five decimal points, but you forget rules exist for fairness, love, loyalty. You blind guide dogs! You use sterilized tweezers to fish out the hair from your soup starter; then you chomp into your mad-cow-diseased-steak for the main course!
25
‘You’re down the tubes, you ringers for real religion! You’re just HQ window dressing!
‘Like I said before, you scrub the bowls and cups so they’re sparkling on the outside, but on the inside you leave the bacteria of greed and selfishness to fester’ . . .
27
‘You’re up the creek without a paddle you back-stabbing blaggers, you garden-path tour guides! You’re like marble paved graves – all suave on the surface. But 6 feet under? Decomposing bodies giving off stench’ . . .
29 - 30
‘You’re in schtuck, you fakes, you con-men, you gazumpers! You put flowers on the graves of the couriers, but you’re just like those that came before you – stamping out anyone that threatens the status quo’ . . .
33 - 36
‘You’ve hell to pay, you snakes, you colony of cobras! You’ve got a one-way ticket to hell; no stations on the way down. You’re the reason God had to send so many couriers – your great-granddads kept lynching them, bumping them off. Your generation is going to take the heat for all the good blood wasted right from the start.
37 - 39
‘Jerusalem! Your track record makes depressing reading: a list of tortured couriers who died in action. So how come I want to cuddle this place, look after you like a mother cat curls round her crop of kittens?! But you won’t have it. You’re off! Only interested in sharpening your claws. And soon you’re trashed, nothing left to recycle. Next time you see me won’t be until you’ve learnt your lines “Elevate him who turns up glowing with God’s approval.” ’
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